July 2010
29 posts
1 tag
June 2010
39 posts
1 tag
M: Some people love the ocean. Some people love the mountains.
R: I like IMAX.
On Animal Planet rams lock horns
On planet Hollywood my little brother sends me taunting emails about how his Droid can kick my iPhone’s ass. He’s sixteen. I let him win. He lets me win at outgrowing the need to win.
“Stop it, you guys.”
– Kristen Stewart in, like, every movie.
Missed Wired iPad app opportunity: when you shake it a bunch of business reply cards flutter obnoxiously across the screen.
How has there never been a Throwdown with Bobby Flay-To Catch a Predator crossover?
1 tag
Remember the old days, when Father’s Day was just between your dad and his parole officer?
“I suppose it’s nice to be worried about. It’s almost like being cared about.”
– Christopher Hitchens
Ring-ring, ring-ring
J: What are you doing?
R: Eating a popsicle and watching Gilmore Girls.
J: You know, sometimes it's okay to lie.
Chatroulette Plans Penis-Recognition Algorithm →
When you’re looking to get nailed, everything’s a hammer.
1 tag
2 tags
My Breaking Bad would probably be called Sleeping Strange.
A: I think I'm a sex addict.
R: I think you're just twenty-six.
Sometimes when I get a phone call and the other person’s all “whatcha doin’?” and I’m like “mmm, nuthin’,” I’m actually eating a popsicle.
I have a loud voice
Me to J_____ at Sur La Table: “They’re already shooting The Real Housewives of Miami?”
Practically everyone within earshot: “YOU DIDN’T KNOW?”
2 tags
1 tag
The Sex and the City 2 back-and-forth-lash is already the year’s most boring nontroversy.
Executioner's lament
It’s always the spider’s misfortune that it crossed my path—but how else would spiders get into heaven?