May 2009
90 posts
As a child I used to have this fantasy that if two people picked up the phone and called each other at the exact same moment, a utility pole somewhere between them would explode. I like to think the same principle applies when two people adore each other at the same time: heat, light, noise, electricity—somehow, somewhere, something explodes.
Fall TV: What's in? What's out? →
I didn’t even know several of these shows were on the air, let alone cancelled.
April 2009
105 posts
Having trouble processing Michelle Trachtenberg’s face ever since R____ and I realized she bears a passing resemblance to Chelsea Clinton.
The Adventures of Baron Munchausen is the first... →
Indulging H_____’s unfathomable desire to see The Soloist because he gamely sat through Knowing with me.
WatchWhat in the amazing fuck did you just make me watch, Hankins?
Ever since its five-year fast-forward last season Desperate Housewives has technically been a show about a bunch of androids endlessly cycling through the motions of human society on a studio backlot in the aftermath of the 2012 apocalypse. That explains what’s going on with the actresses’ faces.
Evan Rachel Wood to play the vampire Queen of... →
This is what’s known as blood-typecasting.
Howard Stern Exposes a Screeching Beyoncé →
If you’ve ever wondered what a cat sounds like when it’s being strangled, then you’re gonna love the raw, unedited “board mix” of Beyonce Knowles from her Today Show performance last year—courtesy of Howard Stern.
There could be any number of reasons why she sounded like that that day—but the clip is still fucking hilarious.
I seldom write about music because I lack the vocabulary to do so effectively, and the breadth of my survey is idiosyncratic at best—but I’m enjoying the fuck out of the new Yeah Yeah Yeahs album. My favorite tracks, such as “Soft Shock” and “Dull Life,” are anthems of air-conditioned anger and elegant asphyxiation. They have drinkability. Also chokability.
“Ever since Dorota … WEBISODE WEBISODE WEBISODE.”
– Eleanor Waldorf
Lindsay Lohan Joining Las Vegas Show? →
Tony Moss: Cristal Connors is a star, Sam. You can’t just replace her. Phil Newkirk: What if we could just bring somebody in while she’s recuperating? Tony Moss: She could be out for a year, Phil. Zack Carey: Like who? Phil Newkirk: Janet Jackson, Paula Abdul. Zack Carey: Paula Abdul, in my show? Mr. Karlman: I’m not going to pay those kind of salaries! Zack Carey: Well,...
Saturday
Klonopin, Jon, Hayden, beer, tacos, tequila, wine, Joel.
WatchProximity to Leslie Mann makes unlikable men seem less unlikable.
In a way, William Wegman is the patron saint of pets wanting to kill themselves.
Kelly Bensimon, owl poacher →
The hyper-articulate poor taste of an obviously intelligent person is a very particular strain of misguidedness.
