March 2009
121 posts
Taken →
What’s presumably intended as a populist red-state revenge fantasy about the dangers of sexy foreigners instead unfolds as an aggro-trash video game where the player is a middle-aged man who fetishizes sexual paranoia and doesn’t feel completely alive unless his daughter is staring down the barrel of a loaded cock. The bodies pile up and the villains only get swarthier as the...
Japanese "hate" for iPhone all a big mistake →
Not so much for any implied iPhone boosterism as for the debunking of a particularly hack-jobbed Wired article.
February 2009
67 posts
Trombone pizza
R: Ever since I enabled emoji on the iPhone I keep accidentally switching keyboards. I almost typed "miracle of [trombone]."
A: When I had to restore my phone a couple of weeks ago, I opted not to reinstall emoji. I don't miss them, to be completely pizza.
“You only give guilt when you care about somebody and you love somebody.”
– Did Jill Zarin’s mother just blow my mind?
Happy birthday, friend. And welcome home, friend.
Well, I’ve finished doing my taxes … whereby “finished” I mean “needlessly over-formatted everything using iWork ’09 templates before sending it all to my accountant.”
Michel Gondry to direct Seth Rogen's "Green... →
bittentongue:
This film just jumped from possibly hilarious to mind-blowing.
lowindustrial:
Seventy-five percent optimistic “yay,” twenty percent ominous “Pitof,” five percent potentially hazardous “Chechik.” Here’s hoping the yays prevail.
"Slumdog Millionaire" Kids Go To Disneyland... →
Wake me up when they re-stage Solarbabies with the Jolie-Pitt brood and what’s left of the Neverland Ranch menagerie.
Oh, and Dante Basco called.
He didn’t leave a message.
Also, you have no idea how long I've waited to say... →
BSG has skipped “space opera” altogether and gone straight to space Cabaret.
is. not
All this time I thought people were being existentialist douche nozzles for updating their Facebook status to “[so and so] is [full stop]” I had no idea that was just a bug in the Blackberry Facebook app.
Reading the Tea Leaves, Snapple Refreshes Itself →
Snapple is gonna start using actual sugar in its sugar water instead of high fuckyou corn syrup. The HFCS lobby cannot be happy about this.
They should remake The Insider except have it be about the Corn Refiners Association. As luck would have it, Russell Crowe is fat again so … you know, he’s available.
“Like a grotesque hybrid between the straight-to-DVD American Pie and Bring It On...”
– Scott Tobias channeling Owen Gleiberman.
Sugar naps
H: When I bought the tickets at his apartment, there was an empty wrapper of Sour Patch Kids on his bed.
R: That could be the opening line of a novel … about a boy who sometimes eats sugar until he passes out.
Just realized I was wearing the sweat pants with the back pocket sorta torn off à la the flap on a pair of long johns—en commando—and that’s why the courier shot me that lopsided grin when I answered the door. Whatever. He’s seen worse. (Kevin Smith baby kimono.)
“Please messenger me martinis.”
– A____.
And so begins the weekend.
The Onion: Japan Pledges To Halt Production of... →
Previously. [thanks, m]
Amazon Drops Japanese Rape Simulation Video Game →
The rape simulation game involves players chasing a mother on the subway and violently raping her, and then tracking down and raping her two daughters described as virgin schoolgirls. The game includes even more horrific details according to online game reviews, such as the option get other men to join in the attacks, having to force the women to get abortions if they get pregnant, and what...
Skittles Vodka Tutorial | Mix That Drink →
hankins:
fascinatingryan:
Anyone else tried this?
I’ve done the traditional Swedish fruit infusing, but not Skittles. Looks like you could run a submarine off that concoction.
lowindustrial:
Once, as a joke, a friend and I gave said friend’s then-roommate a bottle of drugstore vodka that was essentially mouthwash minus any of the non-alcoholic dentifrice—just to see if the roommate...
Tickle torture
If not-Leaf’s “meltdown” is already this not-bearable, just imagine how not-fun not-Ben’s not-doc about it won’t not be.
There’s seriously a dog in my neighborhood that barks in this belabored way that sounds like a human badly imitating a dog. Like maybe he’s a foreign-exchange dog and learned to bark the fucked-up French way. His diphthongs are just wrong.
Hulu who? →
Mr Kilar also bet on streaming via the web, rather than letting users download. Rivals such as Joost have made the same choice. Films and TV differ from music, says Mike Volpi, Joost’s boss, in that people watching tend to sit still, whereas people listening tend to move; and people usually watch a show only once but listen to a song again and again. There is a place for Apple’s model of...