October 2008
46 posts
September 2008
23 posts
“Thank God for this fine show about attractive rich teenagers and the website...”
– I originally gave up on the Goss after a handful of episodes last season because the warmed over Cruel Intentions (erm, Dangerous Liaisons?) rich bitches being mean to one another vibe was pretty instantly grating. But one Writers Strike and far too many Bravo shows later my bar is much, much lower...
Stop it stop it stop it stop it. →
WatchDiesel SFW XXX = Make Porn Work-Safe: THE MOVIE! A friend just passed this along. Apologies to anyone I follow who’s already blogged this. I feel as though I may have seen the link in passing sometime last week but it’s only really registering now. Anyway, Don Bluth meets Ralph Bakshi (cf., the execrable Cool World)—also incidentally not that different from those awkward rotoscoped...
I ♥ fuckabees
S: So the thing about _____ is that she's basically nice (albeit fakety-fake nice) when you meet her/get introduced for the first time. But unless she discerns that you are useful to her in some way, there's no reason to expect she'll acknowledge she knows you the next time you cross paths (unless you are accompanied by someone useful to her). Basically, she's the typical ____ sorority girl, but you probably knew that already.
R: You also just described every tanorexic mood-disordered fucklet and struggling "creative" in this town. It's the most juvenile environment I've ever lived in as a purported adult. You can literally walk into any room where there are industry people and this little "processing" look flickers across all their BlackBerry-lit faces as they run the numbers through their social calculators.
WatchSome dude’s dick pops out on national television. Perhaps “flops out” would be more accurate. Anyway, self-explanatory.
The sun is David Caruso's mortal enemy too
At this point television series about vampires are just as procedural as serials about forensic pathologists. In fact I’m surprised something called Forensic Pathologist Vampires isn’t buried somewhere on FX’s 2009 slate. “No one knows the dead better than the undead; taking a bite out of crime” and so on and so—horf.
The only metaphor for homosexuality that’s...
Did Paul Allen Reboot The Brangelina Brood? →
Are Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie becoming the Simon van Kempen and Alex McCord of, well, untelevised reality?
You Google-know™ what I mean; I ain't linking to...
Oh Mary Tyler Moore: why why why have you done that to your face? I remember it like it was yesteryear: you were Laura Petrie in your smart little house pants, mortified because your blonde dye job had come out weird and you didn’t want Rob to see.
So of course you locked yourself in the bedroom and wouldn’t emerge despite Rob’s blandishments … which made him angry, like...
Tina Brown Buys Charlotte Simmons For HBO →
They’re going to adapt it as a series. Jesus cock this is a bad idea. Simmons, of course, is Tom Wolfe’s mostly-reviled 2004 narrative-journo-ish examination of what it means to be a young woman grappling with issues of virtue and Britney Spears on the archetypal college campus of today. Since Wolfe didn’t actually know the first fuck about any of the aforesaid, he whipped out...
WatchThe Grobster reflects on his instantly infamous television theme song medley fugue at this year’s Emmys [02:55-04:31]. I wish he were my librarian. If I went to libraries. If I knew where any were. (Actually, I’ve been to the Santa Monica Public Library on several occasions and it always reminds me of that part in 12 Monkeys where they go to that dilapidated hotel where...
I ran out of stuff to complain about halfway...
So my shrink spent the rest of our session explaining the whole bailout thingy to me. Then I told him about the whole hunting-wolves-from-helicopters thingy. Also we discussed the multiverse and its polyvalent awesomeness and how political discourse would be so much more fun if that was a talking point instead of “god” and stuff. Next up: some sort of juice cookie nap axis.
How rumors get started
My landlady misinformed the building inspector that I’m working on the next Simpsons movie. Since the building inspector is Always Online™ via her ruggedized building inspector Tablet PC, I’m essentially a tweetbeat away from a puzzled call from William Morris. Everyone knows what blogsluts building inspectors are.
All this has happened before
I’ve been down this brambly path. Champagne catfights, reblog strumpetry, couture themes: fun and games till someone loses a monocle. So this time will be different. I’ll keep things elliptical.