- Extended-release Nesquik
- Attention-deficit Cheerios
- Factory-refurbished corn dogs
- Activia-induced psychosis
- Chicken tetra-Z-Pak
- 256-bit tryptophan
- Zicam communion wafers
- Approval-seeking missiles
Color, while being the most visible thing we can know about a tree, is also created by that part of light that the tree has cast off. The tree absorbs all the other light waves of color, welcomes them as part of itself; the green we see is the negative, the reflected-off reality it wants no part of. Where its definition of itself ends, our definition of it is just beginning.
I don’t think Alien belongs on Earth popping out of a haystack, which is where I was afraid it was going to go. I feel it should take place in the far reaches of the universe where no one in their right mind would go.
We were having dinner with H_____’s friend N_____ at one of the ramen joints on Sawtelle.
My mind, preoccupied with carbohydrates and sodium, had drifted out of the conversation. As I tuned back in, N_____ was looking forward to summering on Mount Blank.
I tried to catch up: “What’s Mount Blank?”
N_____, a bit deliberately: “It’s a summit in the French-Italian Alps.”
“Oh, you mean Mont Blanc!” I brightened, finally getting it.
“Right, I guess I do mean Mont Blanc.”
H_____ observed that we both sounded like assholes.
Nebuchadnezzar had two lion statues commissioned in 1100 BC: a male and a female. Alexander the Great took them when he conquered Persia. Mark Antony had them taken to Rome. Constantine moved them to Constantinople. And at some point the lioness went missing. The movie is about what happens when it turns up at an auction. By the way, it’s all bullshit; none of that ever happened.